D#2 HW#7 Grammer Assignment

(Original)
Hello Everyone,
My name is Lorraine Schmidt, I'm 31 years old, a mother of two under two, I'm also a wife, sister and a daughter. I've been married for 3 years and live in phoenix. I served my country in the navy from OCT01-JUL05. I worked on F-14A Tomcats, for those of you who don't know what F-14's are just think of top gun. I have been around the world and met so many wonderful people. Granted we worked 12 hour days 7 days a week but I believe it was the best job I've ever had until motherhood. After being in so many different countries I'm interested in learning more about them. I love watching movies and I figured this would be a great way to learn more about other cultures. I've researched some of the movies on netflix and blockbuster online. After looking over the websites I've decided to go with netflix since they have some of the movies online and I can be viewed immediately. I do like the fact that with blockbuster you can exchange your movies at the store. The only problem with that is you don't know if they are going to have the next movie you need in the store. Another down fall with blockbuster was that they also do have all the movies we will be watching but they have a very long wait on them. Since this class has a time schedule I can't be waiting to see if I'm going to get the next movie in time to critique it. I wish everyone the best of luck with the class it seems like it will be a blast!


(Revised)
Hello Everyone,
My name is Lorraine Schmidt, I'm 31 years old, a mother of two under two, I'm also a wife, sister and a daughter. I've been married for 3 years and live in Phoenix. I served my country in the navy from OCT01-JUL05. I worked on F-14A Tomcats, for those of you who don't know what F-14's is just think of Top Gun.

I have been around the world and met so many wonderful people. Granted we worked 12 hour days 7 days a week but I believe it was the best job I've ever had until motherhood. After being in so many different countries I'm interested in learning more about them. I love watching movies and I figured this would be a great way to learn more about other cultures.

I've researched some of the movies on Netflix and Blockbuster online. After looking over the websites I've decided to go with Netflix since they have some of the movies online and I can be viewed immediately. I do like the fact that with Blockbuster you can exchange your movies at the store. The only problem with that is you don't know if they are going to have the next movie you need in the store. Another down fall with Blockbuster was that they also do have all the movies we will be watching but they have a very long wait on them. Since this class has a time schedule I can't be waiting to see if I'm going to get the next movie in time to critique it. I wish everyone the best of luck with the class it seems like it will be a blast!



What I learned from the websites:

After having my family and friend review this introduction I was told that I need to learn when to make a new paragraph and when to capitalization. After viewing http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/ I now pay attention to the capitalization to words. I didn't realize that just changing the first letter of a word could make such a difference. I also used website http://owl.english.purdue.edu/ to help me with paragraphs and how to transition from one to the other. To fix my errors I made a couple of different paragraphs so everything was combined in one. I also went through and capitalized all the names to businesses and cities.